Sober Blog

What does R.S.V.P. mean? It’s French, means répondez s’il vous plait, or respond if you please. There is usually a date on the invitation they would like to know if you are attending by.

What if it’s a party with alcohol? “We are miracles of mental health” p. 133. Ask your sponsor if you are a miracle yet and spiritually fit enough to go! Eat a full meal before you go; when you put down your drink, never pick it up again, get a new one. If someone asks if you want a drink, you say yes, a coke please, any soda is a drink!

Do I have to bring something? Just like the wise men, always bear gifts, no matter how small; flowers, some cookies, a package of pretty napkins, something to show your appreciation because the person was nice enough to invite you and arrange for you to have a good time.

At the last minute can I bring a guest or child? Ask the host/hostess first. It may be an adult only party in which case get a babysitter or stay home. If it is a large party, the hostess may say to bring an extra adult with no problem.

What if I R.S.V.P. and then change my mind and don’t go? It depends on what type of party it is. If it’s a sit down dinner for 10, you must call and cancel. If it is a large party, I usually won’t bother the hostess, but will call the next day to apologize for not being there, and to find out how it turned out for the wonderful person who invited me.

What if I get a better offer? You own nothing but what is inside of you. Don’t say yes until you are sure that is what you want to do. Your word is your honor. If you say you are going to be someplace, be there. If you get a better offer, you may be able to split the evening and do both. If not, assume God has a purpose for you attending the one you said yes to and go to find out what it is.

How do I handle my fear of people? Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us…but not without work! The only people who have courage are the ones who do what they are afraid of. You get on your knees the day of the event, ten times if necessary, and ask God to give you the courage and strength to show up for your own life. You have the option of showing up to find out that there is nothing to be afraid of or waiting until another time for the same lesson in growth. It’s not going away and you will have to learn how to talk to people eventually. All people have to put their pants on one leg at a time; there is no one greater or lesser than you. Being afraid of people is just more self centeredness. Say the 3rd step prayer. It’s not about you, but how you can be of service to the people God is putting in your path.

How do I dress? Dress like a grown up. Go look at some magazines and determine what a woman of class and dignity looks like. Pretend you are one if you have to and wear something lovely. You can never look too good. Only if the hostess says it’s a jeans party do you wear jeans. Otherwise gals, wear a pair of pants or a skirt with a pretty blouse and a nice necklace if you don’t have a suit or nice dress. Guys, clean collared shirts and a jacket or a fancy shirt. No shorts, T Shirts or flip flops. You can also find lots of wonderful dress clothes at Thrift Stores. Ladies, don’t wear “hunting clothes” …necklines down to your navel or skirts up to your thighs, no see through anything, and if you have a thong on, we don’t want to know it!

How do I handle my social anxiety? I never had a problem with my coffee table. We are only afraid of people and that’s why it is addressed in our steps. It’s more self centeredness; what are they thinking about me, how do they think I look? What if someone thinks I’m not smart? What if they ask me something I don’t know? What if they notice I’m not drinking? This is all self centeredness and we have a program for this, we have to ask God to go to the party ahead of us and be there when we arrive. Relieve me of the bondage of self is the key. It’s not about you, but how you can be of maximum service to mankind. Maybe there is someone there that really needs to talk about an ailing parent, or a broken heart or a lost purse, you don’t know. You just show up to see what assignment God has for you at that location. It’s not about what people think of you, but how close attention you are paying to them. You have to listen to where the opportunity is to be of service. If you are hiding in a corner, you can’t hear it. You have the grace of God in you and are obligated to shine your light to help others who may be in the dark.

What if I don’t have a date (weddings)? This assumes you have been sent an invitation for two guests, so bring a friend in the program with you. I have taken girlfriends to weddings and had a great time. Again, it’s not what people think of you, it’s what God thinks of you. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Find ways to enjoy it so you can help others enjoy it.

How do I handle social conversations? You get out of the way and ask a million questions of the person you are talking to. Most people love to talk about themselves. Ask about their jobs, their families, their children, where they were born, what they love to do, where they live. Find out about them and how wonderful they are. How do they know the host, what foods/restaurants do they like? It’s not about you. If they ask you a question you are uncomfortable about, answer with a question!
Is it ok to just find a chair and stay there? You can’t be of maximum service to God and mankind, the ultimate goal of the 12 steps, if you sit in a corner with a lampshade over your head hiding the miracle you have been blessed with. You have to start someplace and if it is your first party, make progress no matter how small. It’s the baby steps that get you on the journey. You are obligated to shine your magic in the world in whatever small way you can. Be of service, if you are frightened, help the hostess serve or clean up, get busy and be about God’s business. Be useful.

What if I have certain foods I cannot eat? Don’t eat them. No one is ever going to force you to eat or drink anything. If you know ahead of time that something you can’t eat will be served, ask the hostess if a substitute is possible because you have an allergy. They will surly understand. If no substitute is possible, ask the waiter if you can have more of whatever vegetable is on the plate with added salad. Talk to the waiter and I am sure they will come up with a dish that will work for you. If it’s a buffet, the choices are clear, they’re yours. If you are afraid you won’t get enough to eat, bring a small sandwich or granola bar in your bag or pocket which you can eat outside or in the rest room at any time. If you suspect there is alcohol in the food, ask whoever cooked it what the ingredients are in it as you have “allergies.” If there is alcohol, don’t eat it. According to Duke University, most alcohol does not cook out of food. You don’t have to eat it to be polite, you have to survive. Tell them you are allergic and ask for a substitute or get more soda/coffee/cookies. You won’t starve.
How late can I arrive? If you are invited for an event at 7:00, arrive at 7:00. Your word is your honor. If you accept an invitation, plan to be there. At any fine restaurant they will only hold a table for 15 minutes. Honor your host/hostess by being on time.

How early can I leave? You can leave 5 minutes after you arrive if you absolutely need to. The point is you said you would do something, which is called a commitment, so do what you say you would do. If you want to leave because you are having fear, try to pray and work through it because you eventually have to do it anyway. You will learn a little more each time and eventually be comfortable in your own skin no matter where you are, no matter who you are with. It takes practice and time and doing it. You get that much closer to being who you were meant to be every time you want to run and don’t. Remember God will meet you anywhere!

If you’ve never been to the Hotel de Glace, you’re in for a real treat. In Quebec City, it’s a hotel constructed entirely of phenomenally crafted, sculptured sheets of ice. Impossible you say? Well, we thought so too at first but such a place really does exist. Each room within this magical wonderland of a complex (built with 15000 tons of snow and 500 tons of ice) are full of expressive innovation. Fab structures in the past have included a Hockey-themed suite, romantic suite for two with its own fireplace and spa, a spectacular purple-lighting-infused Gothic style bar, their famous Ice Bar where you can “cool off” with your favorite libation, and even a Gaudi-inspired suite with creative carvings in the artist’s quirky style etched into the icy walls. They’re slated this year to bring back their greatest creation, a fantastic toboggan-like Grand Slide, running twists and curves throughout the property and delivering child-like euphoria to one and all. The hotel reopens in January 2011, and the last day of the season is 29 Mar…so if you want to catch it you’ll have to hurry or you’ll miss it. Just like a snowflake, no two versions of this unique property are ever exactly alike…but that’s the fun of it!

Obvious tip: Bring MANY layers of clothing…although the temps inside are warmer than one might expect, it’s still pretty chilly!

It’s a dirty little secret. When you travel, everything you touch in your hotel room is a public surface, and many of the surfaces you touch are not cleaned after each guest check-out.
Bed Bugs are Back
Virtually eradicated in the United States in 1950’s, bed bugs have made a resounding recovery, and infestations have been found in the finest domestic and international hotels. While they don’t typically carry disease bed bugs cause itchy bites and may hitch a ride home with you on your clothing or luggage. Once established in your home, they are very difficult to get rid of.

As soon as you arrive at your hotel, look for small rusty or dark brown spots on the bedding, mattress, and in the corners of the room. Bed bugs love the dark, so check the nightstand, behind the headboard, and under or behind any other furniture or fixtures within 15 feet or so of the bed. Use the luggage stand to keep your bags off the floor, and check your luggage and clothing carefully before you leave. Should you find evidence of bed bugs on your belongings,treat your luggage and contents immediately.
Bedding
The bed is typically the largest feature of the room, and as a result the bedspread gets a lot of use – sitting, reading, watching TV, etc. Bedspreads are not washed daily – in fact they may be cleaned just once a month or less. Blankets and pillows are not on the daily laundry list either, and dust mites, dander and other human detritus can be a problem for those with allergies.

As soon as you enter your room, remove the bedspread, fold it up, and stow it in a corner for the duration of your stay. To avoid contact with pillows and blankets, use a sleep sack.
Carpet
While carpets are vacuumed daily, they are rarely shampooed, and dirt, germs and bed bugs may be left behind. Wear shoes or slippers and never walk barefoot on the carpet.
Drinking Glasses, Ice Buckets and Coffee Makers
Several news reports have captured hotel housekeeping on tape giving glasses a just cursory rinse, wiping them ‘clean’ with the same rags that cleaned the bathroom and drying them with used towels in preparation for the next guest (ice buckets and coffee makers often receive the same treatment). Many viruses and bacteria can live for extended periods on these surfaces.

Wash glassware, ice buckets and coffeemakers in hot, soapy water before using, or bring your own travel cup for extra peace of mind.
TV Remote, Phone, Alarm Clock, Light
Switches and Doorknobs
It is unlikely that any of these often-touched items are cleaned on a regular basis. Clean them with disinfectant spray or wipes and use hand sanitizer frequently.

Oceania’s new ship to offer culinary sessions with chefs
By Nadine Goodwin
Oceania Cruises has partnered with Bon Appetit magazine to create a culinary studio aboard the 1,258-passsenger Marina, set to debut in winter 2010. The culinary studio will enable passengers to gain hands-on cooking experience at the side of master chefs. Passengers will have their own work stations, including individual induction cooktops. “Many ships offer cooking demonstrations. Our goal when designing Marina was to be the first to let guests experience cooking side by side with a master chef as opposed to passively watching from the audience,” said Oceania President Bob Binder.
Oceania said Bon Appetit would assist in designing a curriculum that would appeal to a wide range of tastes and offer options for passengers at all levels of cooking skills and interests. Passengers will accompany chefs on shoreside shopping excursions. They may also participate in private wine tastings or visits to well-known shoreside kitchens, Oceania said.
Calling the Marina a ship for food lovers, Oceania said it would have 10 dining venues, including six open-seating gourmet restaurants.
Oceania unveiled one of those restaurants, Red Ginger, at its press event in New York on Thursday. With seating for 126, Red Ginger will feature Japanese, Thai and Vietnamese cuisine.
Guests will have the choice of a five-course tasting menu or the restaurant’s a la carte dishes. The menu will include traditional fare and fusion dishes.
Passengers won’t be assessed a supplement or surcharge to dine at Red Ginger, Oceania said. Call Snow for independent travel with your friends or family for this cruise. 561-702-2312.

://tiny.cc/BBwjB

Put your business card in their pocket just in case they get lost.

For the first time, State Department offices and many post offices will be accepting passport applications on a Saturday, for a March 28 event designated as “National Passport Day.”

The idea is to call attention to the looming June 1 deadline for the final phase of the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI), when most U.S. citizens will be required to have passports or passport cards when returning to the U.S. by land or sea from Canada, Mexico, the Caribbean and Bermuda.

Brenda Sprague, the State Department’s deputy assistant secretary for passport services, said “we simply were not ready” when the WHTI prompted a surge of passport applications in 2007, generating a processing backlog and lengthy delays.

But she says they’re ready now.

Sprague said the department increased the number of adjudicators who handle passport applications from 700 to 1,300, and increased processing capacity to print as many as 30 million passports a year.

It appears, however, that this capacity won’t be needed right away because the recession has taken its toll. From a high of 18.4 million in 2007, the number of new passports and renewals fell to 16 million last year, and is expected to decline further to 12 million this year.

What concerns Sprague more than the overall volume, however, is a spike in demand as the WHTI deadline looms.

Sprague’s boss, assistant secretary for consular affairs Janice Jacobs, said the State Departtment is encouraging people to apply now, with stepped-up advertising and public outreach efforts, such as National Passport Day.

Sprague anticipates that, human nature being what it is, many travelers will still wait too long, triggering a surge of applications in the summer months, after the June 1 deadline.

And despite the additional processing capacity, Sprague said the turnaround time for passport applications isn’t going to get much shorter. Four weeks, she said, is going to be “the new normal,” and four to six weeks may be the norm for the summer.

Part of the reason, she said, is that the department is taking additional steps to scrutinize applications and verify documents in the wake of what she called the recent GAO “sting” operation, in which an undercover operative from the Government Accountability Office used forged documents to obtain valid passports.

Sprague said the event “upset us greatly,” and prompted a brief halt to all processing for a complete review of procedures.

A selection of hotels and resorts in Los Cabos, Mexico, are offering girlfriend getaway packages. Casa Dorada Resort Los Cabos’ “Girl Getaway” package is for groups of up to five gal pals and includes a 2,000-square-foot, two-bedroom suite complete with separate living room and dining areas, kitchen, grand terrace and marble bathroom with Jacuzzi tub. Additionally, girlfriends will be treated to one in-suite dinner and one dinner at Casa Dorada’s 12 Tribes gourmet restaurant. The group will also enjoy a private tour of the charming town of Todos Santos inclusive of limousine with VIP host and bottle service. The package includes daily buffet breakfast, all taxes and gratuities. For a three-night stay, the package price is $1,060 per person from now through April 19, 2009; $980 per person from April 20 to July 3, 2009, and Oct. 1 to Dec. 18, 2009; and $910 per person from July 4 to Sept. 30, 2009, for a minimum four people and a maximum five people. Black-out dates apply. For more information or to book this package, call 866-448-0151 or visit www.casadorada.com.