The lines are blurring all over the place; the lines between personal and business on social networking sites, the lines between who is calling on your cell phone, and the lines between addictions at meetings. This morning I went to a meeting where several people identified themselves as “addicts.” Their drug of choice was crack. They were at the wrong fellowship. The base line for recovery is that we can identify with other people with the same experiences.
When the man on the bed, the third man to get sober, was approached by Bill & Dr. Bob, they spoke to him and he could identify with them, with their experiences, feelings and the insanity of the way they drank. If you can’t identify with the person you are talking to you will continue to be lost and available for picking by the nearest shark.
I spend about three dollars at the penny slots when I am on a cruise. I can’t identify with gamblers who sacrifice their homes and families for another run at the gambling games. I don’t do that. During bad times, I can certainly eat a pint of Hagan Daz or Breyers all by myself. I can’t identify with people who eat three pints, vomit it and eat some more at the peril of evenually throwing up enough bits and pieces of their organs that they die. And I can’t identify in the least with crack addicts because I can’t understand why you would want to do something that takes you away from reality for such a short time! But I do know what it’s like to wake up at 7:00 am and swear to God that I will never drink like that again and by 7:00 pm there I am at a bar doing it again wondering how I got there. Dying doesn’t scare me…however, waking up on a Sunday morning when the liquor stores are closed is terrifying!
I understand people like to go to meetings where they feel all warm and fuzzy, but that is not the purpose of meetings. It’s not a club where you tell war stories (you can do that on a bar stool) or a sick sorority that you strive to belong to and be the coolest one. I had to release my psychedelic years to become one of many. Meetings are a place to find the 12 steps and a God to help you with total abstinence so you don’t wind up dead. If you sit at the wrong meeting, your disease is winning. It already has put you in a place where has you are believing that you are different and unique. The only starting place for ego reduction and humility is a knowledge that there is really only one thing we have in common. We are completely and utterly different in all other respects. We have to find that one thing, accept it and move forward. People need to find the right 12 step fellowship meetings or perish.